India Uncut

This blog has moved to its own domain. Please visit for the all-new India Uncut and bookmark it. The new site has much more content and some new sections, and you can read about them here and here. You can subscribe to full RSS feeds of all the sections from here. This blogspot site will no longer be updated, except in case of emergencies, if the main site suffers a prolonged outage. Thanks - Amit.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Bipasha Basu's pink-bottled perfume

"Life," said Homer once, "would not be worth bearing were it not for HT Tabloid." And indeed, checking it out today I find an article that has as its headline a metaphysical question that has long tormented me: "What do hot women splurge on?" I dare to click, and the answer comes:
While going out for shopping, the dishy dames spend a whopping amount on beauty products ranging from perfumes to skin care stuff. They admit that such things make them irresistible to loosen their purse string.

For leggy lass Bipasha Basu, a peculiar pink-bottled perfume (which she doesn't want to name for some strange reason) is something she just can't avoid grabbing once it's available in the market.
Oh, to be a pink-bottled perfume, and to be in the market and -- ah, the thought makes me shiver -- to be grabbed by Bipasha Basu. As Ovid once wrote, "I ne'er fail to become as hard as husk/ when I see something dusky at dusk." But ne'er mind Ovid, let's move on to one more HT Tabloid masterpiece that informs us of arson:
Rumours are rife that former Miss World Priyanka Chopra is all set to set the screen on fire by donning a bikini in the Shah Rukh Khan-starrer Don.

P.Chops (as Abhishek fondly calls her), who is presently basking in the success of Krrish, has worn a sexy swimsuit in Farhan Akhtar's forthcoming mega release, a remake of Amitabh Bachchan and Zeenat Aman starrer original.
As my fans (all three of them) no doubt know, I'm a huge fan of Bikinis. I can't say the same for Priyanka Chopra, though. When the two come together, I'll be inclined to overlook the presence of the latter if there isn't much of the former.

"What would you like for dinner," she should ask me seductively, the slightest of threads preserving her modesty. "I don't mind some chops," I will say. "And may I borrow your G-String, please, that's just the one my viola is missing."

Okay, this won't do. Let's talk about men. We are informed by Homer's favourite source that "tension is brewing between living legend Amitabh Bachchan and Bollywood Badshah King Khan." The article elaborates:
The controversy between the strenuous relations between Big B and Shahrukh Khan has now turned to lovey-dovey family relations between the two. Both superstars have refuted allegations of their troubled relations by expressing bond of love between them.


According to Shahrukh, his children are very fond of Abhishek while Amitabh Bachchan says that Jaya is equally fond of Shahrukh.
Er, but do they get along? As Shakespeare once remarked, "Friends, Romans and countrymen/ Who gives a shit?/ Not me, that's for sure/ Et tu, Brute?"

(Previous posts on Purplocity/Verniness: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9.)
amit varma, 2:56 AM| write to me | permalink | homepage

I recommend: