India Uncut

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Wednesday, March 22, 2006

Santa, Banta and the sleaze committee

Banta Singh and Santa Singh are sitting in a room watching video tapes of music videos. Suddenly, in the middle of a song, Banta reaches for the remote and pauses the action.

Santa: What happened, Banta, why have you paused the action?

Banta: I can see Rakhi Sawant's hip?

Santa: [Looks around frantically] Where, where, where's the hip?

Banta: On TV, dumbass. See that hip. Where's the zoom button.

Santa: Zoom.

Banta: Ah, here it is, I am zooming in now. [Zooms in to Rakhi Sawant's hip.]

Santa: Zoom, zoom, zoom.

Banta: Now, where is my measuring tape? Ah, here it is. [Takes out measuring tape from his pajamas, where he had kept it.]

Santa: Zoom zoom. Jhoom jhoom. Zoom jhoom.

Banta: Now let me measure. [Goes to TV screen and starts measuring Rakhi Sawant's hip.]

Santa: Zoom zoom. Get out of the way, what are you doing? I am very lonely.

Banta: I am measuring her hip. If more than two inches of it are visible, I shall make every TV channel that shows this video apologise. Yes, yes, all the rich multinational TV channels will apologise to me. Yes, yes.

Santa: But why should they apologise to you?

Banta: Ha ha. Because I am part of the sleaze determination committee set up to monitor violations of the Programme Code prescribed under the Cable TV Networks (Regulation) Act, 1995. Haven't you read this?

Santa: No. And I can't read hyperlinks in spoken dialogue. Blog it or something. And can you move away from the screen please? I'm lonely.

Banta: Ha ha ha. They must apologise. Ha ha.
amit varma, 2:50 PM| write to me | permalink | homepage

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