India Uncut

It isn't only police doggies whose interests are being safeguarded in Mumbai; it's also bar girls. Maharashtra’s State Commission for Women has made a few recommendations regarding bar girls to the state government, of which the one that instantly struck me was this: "Bar girls should be provided with uniforms." (Another recommendation is that they should not be allowed to dance, but let that pass.)

Uniforms for bar girls? Who decides what the uniform is? I can imagine a Bar Girl Uniform Committee sitting down to discuss just this matter:

Uniform Commissioner 1 (male): I don't quite approve of exhibit one, this ghagra choli thing, it has a slit. Slits are very bad things.

Uniform Commissioner 2 (female): Yes, Navalkar sahib. And exhibit two is also not on, the blouse is too small. It will corrupt the innocent boys who come to the dance bar for family entertainment. It will put lewd and lascivious thoughts in their impressionable young minds.

UC 1: Yes, Mrs Naithani, that is right. And this third uniform? It is a mini-skirt! Who submitted this? It will erode family values.

UC 2: Yes, but see exhibit 4. It's a burkha. No slit, even at the eyes. This is just right. Our bar girls can now protect their modesty.

UC 1: Yes, but um, there's just one problem...

UC 2: What's that?

UC 1: Migrants from Bangladesh will find it easy to hide in those.

Of course, the main reason given by the government against dance bars was that criminals congregate at such places. That would, you'd assume, make it easier for them to catch these criminals. Perhaps when they land up to arrest them they get, well, distracted. A uniform would certainly help, wouldn't it?