India Uncut

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Friday, November 24, 2006

On Wipro, dating allowances and relationships

Rediff reports:
A court in Kanpur has issued a notice to Wipro chairman Azim Premji after the wife of one of the company's employees alleged her husband had left her because the firm paid him a 'dating allowance.'
This is immensely silly. No, not just this whole dating allowance business, but the woman in question blaming the breakup of her marriage on something other than the relationship itself. Human beings are complex (and complexed) creatures: people have needs, relationships form, people change, times change, shit happens. Those who blame others for their relationships breaking up -- the other man, the other woman, the mother-in-law, work pressures, whatever -- are in denial about the inherent fragility of relationships. (Actually, of everything.)

This is especially true of marriage: the preconceived notions of what it involves often form a straitjacket around relationships that might otherwise have bloomed differently. And, at least in India, it's mostly the woman who suffers more, often having sacrificed her emotional and financial independence to fit into the traditional demands of a marriage.

So while I feel sympathy for this lady, she should really not be blaming a silly 'dating allowance' for her marriage's break-up. If her husband went dating -- and Wipro denies it has any such allowance -- the marriage was doomed anyway. Instead, if she has any daughters, she should teach them to never be financially or emotionally dependent on any man, and to enter relationships on their own terms. And to take responsibility for their own lives.

(Link via separate emails from Prabhu and Manish Manke.)
amit varma, 12:39 PM| write to me | permalink | homepage

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