India Uncut

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Monday, October 02, 2006

How to pee

There are times when a man just doesn't have much to say. Do read this fine story, "Urination will go to committee." The report says:
A local decision that schoolboys must sit on toilet seats when urinating has provoked political debate.

The head of The Democrats Party, a splinter group of former Progress Party hardliners, Vidar Kleppe, is outraged that boys at Dvergsnes School in Kristiansand have to sit and pee.


"When boys are not allowed to pee in the natural way, the way boys have done for generations, it is meddling with God's work," Kleppe told the newspaper.

"It is a human right not to have to sit down like a girl," Kleppe said.
Yes, that last line is the killer, isn't it? Sounds a bit like BP Singhal, who was on a talk show this weekend speaking about marriage. "In a marriage a man and a woman cannot be equal," he proclaimed. "There can only be one king." (Rough translation.)

And the woman's got to pee sitting down, he might have added.

All this reminds me of how Imran Khan reportedly never let his ex-wife, Jemima, sit in the front of the car with him. The reason: he felt that it would imply that her status was equal to his. And after all this, he's such a heartthrob. Admit it, all my female readers, you dig the man, no? I mean, who wants to sit in front anyway?

Enough now. I need to go and, um, do something standing up.

(Link via Boing Boing via email from Bongo P'o'ndit.)

Update (October 3): Vivek Kumar writes in to point me to Bladdergate, the dispute between Vladimir Kramnik and Veselin Topalov that has broken out during the match being held to unify the chess world championships. Topalov feels that Kramnik is taking too many bathroom breaks, and Kramnik is, well, pissed off.

Thanks FSM for this controversy, I say. There was a time when chess was full of great characters -- right from Lasker, Botvinnik, Tal and Petrosian to Fischer and Kasparov -- and such bizarre disputes actually used to be commonplace in chess. My favourite is when Viktor Korchnoi accused Anatoly Karpov of hiring hypnotists in his team to make Korchnoi play badly, because of which Korchnoi wore "mirror glasses" and had Ananda Margis help him out. Today's players seemed to be normal in comparison, and I'm glad that Kramnik and Topalov have, well, shattered that impression.

Also, Arzan Sam Wadia writes in to point me to a guide on how to crap in India. Satisfaction tumbles out.
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