India Uncut

This blog has moved to its own domain. Please visit for the all-new India Uncut and bookmark it. The new site has much more content and some new sections, and you can read about them here and here. You can subscribe to full RSS feeds of all the sections from here. This blogspot site will no longer be updated, except in case of emergencies, if the main site suffers a prolonged outage. Thanks - Amit.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

What on earth is a penis pump?

Manish points me, via email, to a story about a gent in whose baggage a penis pump was discovered at O'Hare airport. It looked like a grenade, and the security chappies asked him what it was. He looked around, his momma was nearby. He couldn't say it was a penis pump in her presence, could he now?

So he said it's a bomb.

Maybe I'm sort of old, or just desperately uncool, but I don't have the slightest idea what a penis pump is, or what it's used for. I don't even want to think about it. The question in the headline is rhetorical, please don't send me emails with links or pictures. I don't want to know. Really.

Update: Sigh. I should have expected it. The mailbox is flooded with mails with "penis" in their title, and I'm not talking about the spam. These boys, I tell ya.

First up, [anonymous] and Abhishek Mehrotra point me to the Wikipedia page on penis pumps, which I'm sure they must have studied intently. Hmm.

Second up, KM and Ajeet Ganga send me links to news pieces about a judge "convicted of exposing himself while presiding over jury trials by using a sexual device." An excerpt:
At his trial this summer, his former court reporter, Lisa Foster, testified that she saw Thompson expose himself at least 15 times during trial between 2001 and 2003. Prosecutors said he also used a device known as a penis pump during at least four trials in the same period.
Well, they say justice is hard, but maybe this dude wanted it harder. Anyway, Sanjeev Naik then writes in with a movie recommendation:
Austin Powers comes back from being cryogenically frozen, takes a really long pee, and then when he goes to take back his stuff (a la a prisoner being released after years of incarceration), and there is a long sequence there with him being embarrassed (in front of Liz Hurley) as a penis pump is one of the things being returned to him.
"This is a grenade," he should have told her. "Should I Hurley?"
amit varma, 7:13 PM| write to me | permalink | homepage

I recommend: